so sorry your world is tumbling down
by The Cinder Crown
Summary: "you don't know how much I long for your touch right now – your strong arms around my fragile body with my head resting upon your shoulder… it's the last memory I have of you" :: or, a last and bittersweet farewell on a snowy winter's day :: Drastoria.


**so sorry your world is tumbling down**

* * *

…

**in my hands a legacy of memories**  
**I can hear you say my name**

…

You say my name in nothing more than a whisper; these beautiful stone-grey eyes of yours are filled with a million of unshed tears and it's only due to the cold and emotionless pureblood education that you are able to keep yourself from crumbling right then and there. You are a Slytherin, after all, brought up in the snakepit and always careful not to show what you are really feeling on the inside.

_(your guards are always build up high.)_

The cool wind is rustling through the remaining leaves of the old oak tree that is planted right next to you and the snowflakes are swirling through the air ever-so-softly. From a far distance, it's looks mesmerizing – the way everything is slowly covered in white, crystal after crystal. But down there, it's freezing; you shiver and instinctively tighten your black coat around your thin frame. You don't even care when a bow of air is blowing through your blond hair.

The respires that escape through your thinned lips every now and then when you take another, tortured breath form foggy clouds that after a moment fuse with the cold winter's air.

_...  
_**I can almost see your smile**  
**feel the warmth of your embrace**  
…

You always held your distance. Even back at school – when you were surrounded by a lot of you housemates that never once questioned a word you said – you didn't share what was troubling you. Most of the time, you didn't even realize when there were people around you that cared. After all, it was quite obvious that you never took notice of the younger ones in your house.

_(you never really noticed me, then, did you?)_

But nevertheless, you survived a war – a terrible one, that is. And although you tried so hard, you never quite fit in – no matter which side you were on. The 'good' ones considered you an arrogant, cold-hearted and evil pureblood… the 'dark' side you were fighting on named you a coward, a boy who wasn't worth anything – a mere tool for their means. It left scars on you – inside and outside – but I guess no one really escaped without them.

After the battle, you lived through years of loneliness, pain and hatred and it took you a while to finally open your heart to hope, happiness and love. You never knew what it was like to have people around that cared and it certainly wasn't easy to break through the walls you built around your fragile soul. But the smile your beautiful lips formed into at your wedding day was worth it all; so true, so kind so filled with joy.

_(it's something that I'll never forget.)_

_...  
_**but there is nothing but silence now around the one I loved**  
**is this our farewell?**  
…

Nowadays, however, there's nothing left of it. That beautiful smile of yours has vanished like the snowflakes melting on the ground.

Your high cheekbones have always been a special trademark of yours and added magnificently to your handsomeness. But watching you now – even from a distance – it's clear that something has changed. Your striking face looks thin and pale – almost ashen – like all colour's been drained from it. Your once crimson lips – turned violet from the chilly air around you – are quivering heavily, and your long, delicate fingers are balled into fists. The ache you experience from the nails that painfully pierce into your own flesh are supposed to distract and help you fight the tears that are threatening to roll down your cheeks.

On the fourth finger of your left hand you still wear your golden wedding band – and on the necklace that's tangling from your collar you're wearing the slightly smaller, matching one along with your family's old emerald-ring you used for your proposal. That you're keeping it so close to your heart… you don't know how much this means to me.

The longing to feel the warmth of your embrace gets stronger and stronger with each passing moment. Standing so close to you and yet so far away; thouching the ground without leaving footprints in the snow...

_(it's a feeling worse than dying.)_

…  
**sweet darling you worry too much**  
**my child, see the sadness in your eyes**  
…

The sound of small footsteps in the snow disturb the haunting silence and captures your attention so you turn slightly to see your son – your greatest pride – approaching. Watching you without being able to do anything to take away both your pains is pure torture.

The boy's bright blue eyes are clouded and puffy, and tears are rushing down his cheeks like rivers. He is the spitting image of yourself – both in looks and behaviour. Even at his young age, the boy holds himself together. Or at least he tries to.

He wants to be like you – he always has. A proud Slytherin, through and through.

But as alike as the two of you are, there's still a difference to be reckoned every now and then.

Contrary to you, our little boy never really had trouble finding friends. Luckily, he didn't inherit much of your arrogance and distrust when it came to people and prejudices. His heart is big and caring – and that's what you love most about him.

Still, the downside of loving someone deeply is that there comes a time, when love turns into worry. And seeing this little boy now, standing right next to you in the freezing winter's air, it is so obvious that he is worrying much more than any boy his age ever should. The sadness in his usually vivid eyes is something you're not used to.

_(no parent should ever be used to seeing a child like this.)_

_...  
_**you are not alone in life**  
**although you might think that you are**  
…

Neither of you is alone in this world – you just have to remember it and learn how to adjust your lives accordingly. It won't be easy, but you're strong if you just believe in yourselves.

Just look at your son, he's found someone to trust in people you never thought possible – his best friend, after all, is the son of your ex-enemy. And who would have thought that two boys could – albeit not completely without troubles – unite the two of you?

If someone had once upon a time told you that you'd have monthly dinners with a goody-two-shoes Gryffindor and his family, you'd probably have cursed them into the next century.

But well, on the other hand… you never thought you'd fall in love either… least of all with me, right?

_(you always thought I was too kind for a Slytherin.)_

…  
**never thought this day would come so soon, we had no time to say goodbye  
how can the world just carry on?**  
…

But in the end, it was kindness that brought you on a better path. And so far, you didn't regret it. You did your best to regain redemption for your actions during the war – you even asked to be forgiven for the sins you committed and the people you hurt.

You always laughed and said that you only did these things because of me, but I know better. There's always been kindness and bravery in your soul – otherwise you wouldn't be standing there, next to your son, holding his hand and softly brushing away the snowflakes that had fallen on his coat.

You have always cared, my love, more than you know. For your family, your friends … for me…

_(please, don't ever change that.)_

_...  
_**I feel so lost when you are not by my side**  
**there is nothing but silence now around the one I loved**  
…

You bend down on your knees, and your son is snuggling into your embrace – the sight of the tears that are rolling down his soft cheeks is breaking my heart all over again.

Neither of you can see me, even though I'm standing right next to you.

Neither of you can feel me, even though I'm touching both your shoulders with my shimmering hand.

And neither of you can hear me, even though I'm whispering endless words of love in both your ears.

Standing so close to each other, you reach out to take your beloved son's hand – and I hope you'll never let him go. You don't know how much I long for your touch right now – your strong arms around my fragile body with my head resting upon your shoulder… it's the last memory I have of you

_(and I'll cherish it for the rest of eternity.)_

Your own eyes seem frozen as they stare into the far distance. In this moment, you realize with a pain in your heart that you might should have listened to the old saying that, if you tell a wish, it won't come true. Because – all those years ago – you told me that your greatest and only wish in this world was to be together.

You squeeze your son's hand encouragingly and you both lay down a white rose on the black marble gravestone before you whisper my name for one last time.

"I'm so sorry, Astoria."

_I'm sorry, too, Draco,_ is what my heart longs to scream.

But my body is hollow, and my voice is mute, and all I can do float next to you until you reach the iron gates of the graveyard.

_(and I'm so sorry your world is tumbling down.)_

…  
**I will watch you through these nights,**

**rest your head and go to sleep because my child this is not our farewell**  
…

* * *

**ASSIGNMENT #7. **Transfiguration (becoming an Animagus): Task #1. Write about someone who can't speak

**APRIL AUCTION: **Day 5 Auction #3. (style) 2nd person

**1000 Prompts: **#325. (pairing) DracoAstoria

**365 Prompts: **#8. Moment

**Scavenger Hunt 2019: **#94. Write a fic using inspiration from a song.

**WRITING CLUB: **Disney Challenge (Cinderella): Dialogue: #1. "If you tell a wish, it won't come true."

**SPRING SEASON: **Flower: #5. Peony (theme) re-union

**OLIVER WOOD'S QUIDDITCH TRAINING CAMP: **Level 1: Push Ups - Write 1000 words about your otp/favourite pairing. [DRASTORIA]

**Words**: 1.580


End file.
